Why! Whyes? Why not???
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TAD's article was the trigger to release one of my first articles that reveals some of my deeper thoughts I was hiding inside my weird head. A very good trigger for me indeed! A motivation to release my strange thoughts about "Why am I doing this" and about thoughts unrelated to TAD's Article but somehow related to the whole point... thoughts like: The soulless metal box which creates nonexistent worlds, the soul of the creator that the kewl metal box transmits, people who talk about YOUR Life and tell YOU to get A Life as if they knew about YOUR Life and what A Life is, praising the Creators, people who try to define THEIR Meaning of Life and call this wrongly "THE Meaning of Life", my thoughts about THE&MY Meaning of Life, praising the World of Creators that is full of soul, the great Underground Culture called the Demoscene, the great world of Creators again (Heh :), much more things I haven't mentioned and perhaps more weird things I have in my head which I dream to reveal to the world one day and analyze so well that they feel (I hope but don't really care) what I feel.. (Ohhh... almost forgot! Praising the Creators! I love ya all ;)
I am talking about the article called "A Stoopid scene! Why?" written by TAD for HUGI21. Of course (to avoid misunderstandings) this article is Not an answer to the article of TAD. I don't have anything against TAD's article which was just the trigger to reveal some of my personal thoughts I kept in my mind about various things. Perhaps my article is also my own personal answer to the Ultimate Question about Life, the Universe and... erm, to the big Scene question that TAD has put I meant! ;) Actually to tell you the truth, it's not only about this but also various rants about some other random thoughts that have some connection to the things that came in my mind again when I was reading it.. I want to emphasize again before I start, that I am giving an answer to the question: "Why am I doing this" and not "Why are WE doing this?". I know more about myself, I feel myself (And I laugh out loud at all these people who think that THEY Can easily tell what is good or bad about MY Life and how I Should Act in MY Life! As if THEY knew more about ME than I do!) and I am answering from inside my own State of Mind! Perhaps it doesn't satisfy you but perhaps my answer speaks inside some people whose State of Mind resembles my own a little.. I thought of starting by commenting a few lines from TAD's article. You may know that I am not organized on writing and the first thing I usually do is choosing a starting point and then I start writing and everything flows from there away. And to tell you the truth, exactly these lines made most of my thoughts flow when I was first reading TAD's article and most of the things I want to say is around these lines. So here we go.. The "why" I was thinking about is "why do we do what we do?" (gee, sounds like the beginning of a song ;)). I mean, why do we spend hours of our precious lives sitting in front of a humming metal box creating things which don't really exist? The first thing I would ever want to comment is "the humming metal box creating nonexistent things". I have heard similar phrases many times from friends of mine, e.g. "You are wasting your time with nonexistent electrified dreams!", ".. or with a soulless box!", e.t.c.. They try to prove that I shouldn't be involved so much in the demoscene and computers by using words that sound bad like soulless, useless, metal, electricity, box, e.t.c. Just because they sound harsh and they want to emphasize their point with all these phrases. Btw.. I find exactly these kind of phrases very stupid to be mentioned and used as arguments to prove anything! I will tell you what I mean below.. Let's first talk about "Lifeless". That damn lifeless Metal box! Electrons that are being radiated to our cathodic ray tubes, info, data, bits&bytes which are actually just some zero's and one's or actually just some electrons! (But being put in such a right order that can build a lot of great worlds, the dreams of the creators all from 0 and 1, all from electricity, from a humming metal box to something magnificent! Have you ever thought how beautiful this feels?! ;) Let's go on. What about TV? Isn't that a lifeless Box too? Our lifeless Stereo? Does it transmit metal or electrons? :P (No! Music of course, which is translated into feelings inside our souls ;) What about a Sculpture? Isn't that a damn piece of rock? (Transformed so perfectly into something that transfers some beautiful messages in our souls! Isn't that a beautiful feeling again ;) How about a Painting? Loving that useless piece of paint glued on that lifeless piece of wood? A Book? That soulless piece of paper? (Which, however, transfers the feelings of the writer and then the reader translates what he reads with his fantasy into imaginary images which are sent to his soul!) Here I want to say that the parenthesis doesn't have anything to do with the things that I wanted to say, they are just there because they have flowed from my mind and I wanted to make you feel how beautiful the world of creators feels! (The beauty here is that the Creations talk inside our souls and that's what the Creators want to achieve ;) But the other text speaks for itself! Using as argument that something is lifeless is just plain stupid! It's like you are having a chat with another human and I am saying to you "Are you stupid? You are talking to a soulless piece of flesh!" =) Let's now talk about "Imaginary nonexistent things". Computers are creating nonexistent things. We are absorbed by a jerky world of non-existent pixelized&polygonized beings, we waste our time finishing games without any worth or we are wasting much more time creating one of these worlds which may absorb other people like us for more hours! So what? Don't you remember yourself being absorbed from the imaginary story of that strange science fiction book you have bought lately? What about movies? Theatrical Performance? Theme Art? Conceptual Music? Aren't they based on imaginary stories? Perhaps they use some bits from our real world but they are still imaginary/nonexistent! What do you say now? ;) The Flaw here is that it's damn lame to emphasize on words like "Nonexistent", "Metal Box", "Imaginary", "Lifeless" for these things (And I hear these lame phrases especially focused against their Top1 Target! Tada!!! ==> The Computer ;) I don't want to prove anything here. I just want to express my thoughts about these phrases like "The lifeless metalbox with empty feelings!". They don't have any use. If you want to consult me about not spending so much time on computers, just use something else, because these things are just making me feel that you are damn stupid! And the most nice and important thought I wanted to share here, is that the thing that is being transmitted through either Computer, TV, Stereo or a Book is something Real! Something with feelings! It's the soul of the Creator!!! They use images and sound to transmit their feelings to us. Our mind translates what it sees on the screens, hears from the speakers or reads in a book and sends it to our soul. There is a very Real Thing hidden behind all these metal boxes! (Don't see only the outside) More Real and Beautiful than Ever! I just love the World of Creators.. :) Perhaps I have finished with the first piece of my random thoughts I wanted to transmit. But there are some random bits/paragraphs which I was writing down in notepad and had to assemble in this article. But they don't fit anywhere and perhaps some of them are things that I have said before. I will put some of them after this paragraph. Btw.. I have let it flow again ;) But not in a humorist way of course.. it's just that I have written so many thoughts here and perhaps you got tired.. :P I just hope that I will catch up the deadline because I loved very much all these things I was writing and I want to release them as soon as possible. So let's check the random bits! Go on.. Random Bits that I left :P (Have patience!) Btw.. something really funny! Look at the contradiction! Creating things that really don't exist Damn! How can a thing that someone creates be nonexistent??? Creation = Bringing something to Existence! From your Dreams/Soul/Mind to Reality! But I know. You emphasize on the fact that the things on computer are something very imaginary. We see things on the screen but these are electrons, bits, info, data and nothing which can be touched! E.g. on a Gallery you can touch a painting, you can touch a sculpture.. But does this make the sculpture more real and beautiful than a computer demo??? Because it's real with real matter and it feels more real than a demo which is just electrons cast in a cathodic tube, or bits and bytes, info, electricity? Is the thing that you like on a Painting that it is real? Does the fact that you can touch it makes it beautiful? No! It's what you see with your eyes, what you hear with your ears... and to tell you the truth it is "How Does Your Soul Interprets Your Senses Into Feelings"!!! We don't care if it is real or unreal, we care that all these things either music, painting, sculpture or computer art are ways to transfer feelings! They all have the same worth, no matter if they are Real or Computer Creations! And to tell you the truth Computer Creations are real too! Because they are Creations! All the Creations of the World are made because some human souls have made their dreams to reality! All of them came from the minds of some creating souls and focus on transfer feelings to the viewer's soul! As long as computer demos makes me feel some beautiful feelings, as long as they send some nice messages to be translated by my soul, I don't care if it is a metal box, or if it smokes weed, or if it can't make sex with me or if it sparks electrons! It's wrong to use these details to emphasize and make people scared that computers are lifeless and blabla.. We have never felt in love with the metalbox, but with the world it creates. The same happens with computer girls. We had a discussion about girls&computers in a Forum. Some people were crazy when they discovered 3-4 computer girls in that Forum. Someone made fun of us and emphasized on this phrase: "How can Love/Dreams be combined with Metal&Electricity!" as what we were doing all the time with computer was loving the metal and the electricity and not the worlds that other creators build for us or the ones we are building! Then he said: "You can't love a girl because of her computer!" But is it the metalbox we love? Do we love her computer equipment and not her self?! (Hmm.. there is a cute creative girl soul with astonishing computer equipment out there! I have heard that she lives in Norway ;) It's normal that I sympathize more with someone who understands my passion, someone who I can have more fun with, who perhaps has a similar State of Mind to mine and this is generally for all computer friends of mine, I feel that they are more real friends because we have fun with what we are doing. And as for the girls it's admirable/impressive to see them involved in our computer scene. All these are human feelings, no connection with metal box and electricity.. And final random bit! Do you remember the starting screen from the demo Melrose Space by 3State? What is Real? If Real is everything you see, hear, feel, touch, then Real is just electronic signals interpreted by your mind! Normally I mustn't have written the text exactly as it was in the demo. What is Real? You can believe everything! One beautiful fact in this reality is that you can believe everything :) But another beautiful fact is that by writing this article I have discovered a very very real thing. The Soul! All ends up to the Soul! Whatever we touch, hear, see, feel in our world is translated and talks inside our Soul! I am not really sure about what I see, hear or touch, but the final message that comes into my Soul feels just soooo Real! Don't you see? Let's go on in an unorganized style. I was writing random thoughts and paragraphs in notepad and then I decided to connect them so they are kinda confused but at least they spread some of my random thoughts. The 2 big paragraphs below were supposed to be connected somehow with 2 lines from TAD's article. When I was writing them I liked them very much for what they talk about. But later I wrote much more beautiful thoughts of mine in other paragraphs. Many of these thoughts came in my mind so clear exactly when I was writing this article. Perhaps they were in my mind but confused, they didn't seem so clear, nice and beautiful until I decided to write them in this article.. A painter would be able to exhibit his/her work in a gallery, a musician could appear on MTV or the radio and writers could happily walk into their local bookstore to see their own work on the shelves. I believe that the Demoscene is a Culture, a form of Art, a modern society of Creators. Perhaps one day the Demoscene will get the recognition that she deserves. No matter if she is unknown to the people, I, as a demomaker, feel the same atmosphere that a painter, a musician, a writer, a stage manager, a scientist, a computer hacker, a researcher, a philosopher feels! We are all creators, we reform the human culture! When doing demos I feel like I am adding a small bit to our human culture! No matter if demos are unknown, it's an underground culture and other artists who belong to this cultural society called Demoscene can stare at other demo productions and give some feedback about my demos (and btw these are the people who understand demos and can have some true words about them and not the mass). Btw.. have you ever heard of some older times when several of these kinds of people, either musicians of alternative music types, science or paranormal fiction writers, crazy researchers and scientists, e.t.c. were not known at the beginning but got real recognition after many years? And the fun is that all these people were the creators of an underground culture at the very beginning! They got recognition only from the very few people who were involved in their cycle, but later their underground cultures invaded the real world! The Demoscene is a new underground Culture! As a demoscener I feel similar, like all these kinds of people felt when they were first inventing their new underground culture! And perhaps after 50 years we will see usual people of the normal world who will stare with awe at demos in computer museums, the same way as common people stare at a painting in a gallery, read a poem, listen to classical music or reuse old knowledge of scientists & researchers! I feel like belonging to a very important underground culture. Just think of the big piece of creativity behind demos! Mathematics, coding, deep knowledge of a computer system, gfx art, music creation of all kinds, design, innovations, exceeding the barriers and much more! Think only that we are the biggest linked community of real computer hackers that remained in the computer world. We are international but each one knows what is happening in the other countries and keeps in touch with every scener around the world, we make demoparties which all people around the world visit and we have diskmags, both showing that we are a real existing community, we know each other and we feel that we form a strong existing community called the Demoscene! She is there and I feel her very strong!!! We are an important piece of the human culture! Anyway.. I love these 2 paragraphs very much, especially the 1st one! I was always thinking about all these things but it's the first time I wrote them down and I felt them much stronger inside me. I love to think of the Demoscene as a Culture. I love these thoughts. They are beautiful.. The big Why! (Have patience, there is more to come! :) Normally I have to talk about the "Why"'s. I shall do it now. Actually I doubt if I will answer in the question "Why am I involved in the Demoscene?" because I am always flowing away from the main theme and talk about irrelevant things. But I shall give it a try. First I will talk about the irrelevant things and then about why I am involved in the Demoscene. Have patience.. this article finishes (I hope ;) after some paragraphs.. I will try to analyze the "Why". What means "Why"? "Why" means that we are doing something bad, wrong, useless, meaningless or something that the other people can't understand and they ask us about the worth of this thing. Why? Here is the big question about the Demoscene. I know! Many people have asked why! E.g. my friend said: "What is the worth of demos? They are useless and people waste too much time for them. I can't get it!" I had to tell him that demosceners later get a job in big software companies so that he would be satisfied.. :P So for the common people, something only has a worth if it is related to the things that our society gives worth to. If there is a profit from what you do, where profit = money, girlfriend, car, house, family, job, e.t.c.. then it has a worth. The common people don't understand why we are spending so much time in the Demoscene. Perhaps they will understand only if you tell them that demomaking is a prestige where someone learns before he gets a job in the game industry. But is this the reason why many of us are involved on the Demoscene? No! We are there just for the fun, the creativity, the friendship, the fame (Yes! The fame ;) and more.. I personally loved this unknown before underground world when I first learned about it through some demos on a commercial CD! And I started loving all its aspects and the cool people that I was seeing involved in the Demoscene! I don't need to say words like money or family to give a worth to this beautiful world! Is it the final thing that we want money? Just think that money is just the means to buy something else that fills our Soul with Beauty! That happens with the Demoscene too. There is a hidden real worth to the Demoscene! Something that can't be easily described with common lame words like money or job or being "normal" and such lame stereotypes :P It's about the Positive Feelings that invade your Soul, Feelings coming from Creativity, Art, Real Friends, Fun, Breaking the Barriers, Challenge, Self Esteem, Beauty and again Fun ;) And the Demoscene is a Real World of Creators! Creativity for me is a very valuable thing in Life! I feel the same strong feelings about that beautiful hidden world I have accidentally discovered from that commercial CD :) Hmm... perhaps I have already answered that to you in the question "Why am I involved in the Demoscene?" while I told you that I would do this after talking about THE&MY Meaning/Important Aspects of Life. Anyway.. Have you noticed that the other people who ask us "Why?" are actually trying to give a meaning to our hobby by using the aspects of their own State of Mind or actually the Establishment of what the mass believes! I believe in the difference of our Meaning/Important Aspects of Life. People are trying to define the meaning of life and then they generalize it for every people out there, something wrong because each person has his own special meaning of life, his own special aspects of life! It's wrong to say phrases like "Computers are not the meaning of life!" or "There are more important aspects on life". I will show you later the paragraphs I was randomly writing in notepad about all these things but let's say some things just for fun before we go on: A common thing that men say is that the meaning of life is girls! (Hey girls! You should be really happy now! You are the meaning of our lives!!! =) What is the common meaning of girls anyway? Ohh.. I got it! Family & Kids! =) At least this is cute... but not for me ;) I have heard this late phrase from my Mother :) "The biggest meaning/focus of life is to create a family! There isn't anything more beautiful than this!" I have heard this. I respect this! But it's not for me! It's just too simple for me. That phrase means that once I have created a family I can die, then I have completed my focus in this life! That I was born in this damn Planet just to create a family and perpetuate our kind! Damn too simple and common for me! For me it's not only this. I want something more real from life! Ok.. perhaps the biggest percent of human beings are doing nothing very special in their lives and I respect that they have chosen to do this thing, but they tell me that this is the meaning of life as they talk about everyone out there! The Big Flaw here, is that people try to define the Right, the Worthy, the Normal, the Useful, the Meaning and act as if everything they defined applied to every human being out there as if all humans had the Same State of Mind! Perhaps it applies to the mass but not to few different / weird / extreme people out there who search for a different meaning! Anyway.. I have written some things about these matters which I will show you below. Let's get finished with this damn article.. Some people say to me that demos are not useful/worth wasting so much time with. Because there are some "more important" aspects of life. What means "important aspects of life"? Who defines them? What are they? Job? Money? Sex? Family? Kids? Being Normal? Acting like the mass? Why aren't they: Making demos! Having Fun! Creating because you love to! Doing Yourthing! Having strange thoughts! Being Weird! Doing strange things! Exceeding the barriers of yourself! Being yourself.. Actually I don't really care what is or not and how people define things. I am bored with all these things! I care only about one thing: That I am doing Mything! Not what the other people call "important aspects of life" or "normal"! I am Free and I have chosen my own Way! The things that I have chosen most to do are MY Own "most important aspects of life". I respect other people's "most important aspects of their lives". I respect their Way of Life. If they think that being "Normal" and doing what the mass says are something that makes them feel happy with themselves, then I don't care! I wouldn't tell them "The thing that you are doing is not The Meaning of Life, it is not The Most Important Aspect of Life and you are wasting too much time for that!". I wouldn't say this, because each human has his own Focus in Life (which may seem strange to other people but it's possibly his OwnRealSelfThing and people may not understand him!) and I wouldn't say this also because I can't read other people's State of Minds to be able to tell them about their Lives! I hope that more people will start understanding this! How easily can people say to other people what is right or not as if they knew the Ultimate Answer to Everything?! What We are doing wrong is trying to Define what is Worth / Useful / Normal / Right or Wrong / Abnormal / Useless / Worthless / TimeWasting at all! Every person should give these terms a different meaning I think. He should find his own way! The wrong thing that the mass does, is first to define what is normal or not, and then to accuse some different people of being abnormal! But these people may have found a different worth on all these, a different focus in life! What we must search is what is the best thing for each one of ourselves! What we really love to do, no matter if it seems wrong to other people. Each one of you shall find his Own Personal Focus, his Own Meaning of Life. He should find what he loves to do with himself! Don't listen to the others, what do they know about you? Choose your own Way on Life and go on! And have in your mind that you have to try to respect other people's Way (I know that it's very hard and the Flaw here is that it's very likely (common I could say) that our Ways may Interfere badly with other people's Ways :P) But remember all this! Try to find your own personal answer (About Life, the Universe and Everything ;)! But behold that it will be preferably YOUR own personal answer and not necessary the Ultimate answer for all the World! And don't expect that someone else will give you the Ultimate Answer about Everything in your hands! You shall find it alone.. You are Free then, you are YourOwnRealSelf! You are Free then because you have chosen what to do and not what the mass said to you! Look at me... I am a crazy guy! I am computing, I am scening, I do weird things, I buy weird mags.. I am just bored to be anxious that someone would call me weird, absorbed, abnormal, strange because of what I have chosen to do! I don't care any more. I am doing things that could be considered abnormal but I laugh out loud at all these people! I am Happy because I am Free!!! I feel Damn More Free than people who tell me to get a life :) Hmm... now that I am rethinking it, many of the things that I wrote here could be useful for two articles I will write for Ovation6. Now that I am rethinking it #2, most of the things I am writing here are going far away from the main question that TAD has put. And now that I am rethinking it #3, I wish I will not miss the deadline (2 days left and I have to connect all this stuff..) for this article that is very important for me (because I have let flow much more nice thoughts outside me than I was first expecting..) And some final very random bits and we have finished! (Amen ;) My friend trying to make me mad: "The paradise will be full of girls! No computers.. :)" Damn! What is all this madness with girls! I know, I love girls too.. they are just soooo cute ;) But they must feel damn lucky too! They are the meaning of our lives and they are also the present of paradise! Damn =) Irrelevant: I was reading an interview of PSI in a very old diskmag (I think it was Scenial but I am not sure..) To the question "Do you have a girlfriend?" he answered: "Why are you always asking this question :P" Hmm.. I sympathized with PSI after that! Really! Irrelevant fact #2 that has just flowed from my mind: I remember a nfo file from Future Crew (which I want to search and find again but I am just lazy..) where they were saying in one paragraph: "FC Members are doing many other common things except computing like all normal people out there, they watch TV, go to Cinema, go to Gym, hear Music, most of them have a girlfriend, e.t.c.." I just don't remember the paragraph exactly.. but it could have let many thoughts flow from my mind, thoughts like.. damn.. let's better leave it! Another time.. There was a John Carmack interview where he said "Programming is the main focus of my life!" Cool guy! I love him ;) Go on! Strange eh? But if I try to respect 10 times common acts of the mass, I am trying to respect 1000 times the few strange / different / extreme / weird people out there that have done things or have spoken phrases which could have very easily turned on the Alarm of the Dreamers Chasing Department (DCD) (Or Y.D.O. = Ypiresia Dioxews Oneiropolwn as Strange Egnarts the Craziest Greek Paranormal Magazine says :) So usually I love strange/crazy guys! Craziness just flows perfectly into my Soul, Craziness radiates Freedom! :) When I see strange people then perhaps my mind has set a strange mechanism to show favor for them ;) Perhaps because they already get negative comments from the mass, I feel like I would like to support these people. I don't know! It's strange but beautiful :) Btw.. I was thinking of other things and the story of John Carmack which can very easily Turn On the Alarms of the DCD, but are just so different! He is the one game developer who and whose story I feel to be very close to my feelings.. (The bad flaw here is that I don't have any idea about most of the persons involved in the gaming industries. We never meet the persons! :P) Do you know a meaning of life? The meaning of life is trying to find a meaning of life =) Actually have you thought that we have been born on earth without knowing anything? In the first years of our lives we enter in the reality. We learn everything, we build a self, we grow up. Later we find a meaning. I have strongly said before that each one person finds his/her own personal meaning/focus of life! Anyway.. I was ranting all the time about the Creators. I just have a big idea about them! (Perhaps because I am feeling that I also belong to the World of Creators ;) The Demoscene is a big Society of Creators. I feel awe about her! All the time I was praising the Creators in this article :) I sometimes feel that the Creators are the best people. They don't destroy, they don't kill, they just create! A human who creates has found some beautiful meaning on his life. He wouldn't spoil his life with lame things like War / Killing / Abusing / e.t.c.. He has found a beautiful meaning, why spoil his life with lame acts? I just feel that there is a much smaller chance that a Creator would do bad things. And I see generally that the people who create something feel much more like good guys than some other random people from the mass. We don't have any reasons and it isn't even advantageous to Interfere badly in the Way of other People. We are just happy with our Creations! Sometimes I was thinking that, if more people were creating instead of destroying, then the world would be much better. And as an answer to my friend, I have thought that perhaps the Paradise will be a Special World for the Creating Souls! Strange thoughts, unassembled, put here in a random order. Go on Optimus.. Damn! I am bored. I want to finish the article. So some very very very random things in this last paragraph. Have you thought of the whyes question? An alternative! What would you answer if we changed the question? E.g. instead of "Why Pain?", "What is the meaning?", "Why Scening?", "Why are there bad things in the World?" we could say: "Why not Pain?", "Why there is good in the World?", "Why not Scening?", "Why do you want to find a meaning?" I am just lazy to find an answer to these alternative questions that no one has asked before. Just as an experiment. Some final bits now! People were asking "Why watching demos?". Could I ask "Why hearing music?", "Why spending so many times for watching movies or going to the Cinema?", "Why Loving someone else?", "Why making kids & family?", e.t.c. Do you see? They are questions that we have never ever heard! Alternatives too! Because we don't need to ask! They are damn common things! It's like I am asking "Why are you eating?", "Why are you sleeping?", "Why are you having sex?" Do you get it? But if you think, these questions are the same Damn hard to answer as the first one! It's not really hard! It's hard for the people who try to find a worth of a thing by searching for the words "money", "sex", "family", "kids", "job", "normal" in it! But all these things are speaking in our Souls, that's why we are doing them! Some final important bits here now! I don't deny the aspects of Real Life! I try to respect everything! I respect kids, family, job, money, normal! It can be in my life too. Perhaps I will create a family & some kids (But I hope after many many years from now, far away in time! And I let my mother complain about my sayings ;) I have to find a Job so that I have some damn money! I need money! I personally need to have enough money just to be able to live well and be alive so that I can continue doing my own thing for ever! (One of my dreams is to make so much money, so that I will stop one day to work for money at all, and I will spend all my time with my friends & my dreams! Perhaps with a few commercial games I could make a bunch of money??? Heh.. who knows! People say that it is hard on the PC Gaming industry..) I respect all these things! This doesn't necessarily mean that I am following them! In this lame reality, I have to follow a few of these aspects in order to survive. I respect that you have chosen to follow all these! (It's damn lame for me that I would have ever consulted YOU about what is good or bad in YOUR Life!) I respect all these! But for me, It's Damn Important to spend many hours in our wonderful world called Demoscene! I will never leave her because she is considered worthless! I will never leave this great world and I will never pause all the activities that fills my Soul just because it's not Normal, or it's Worthless and blabla! I have to be involved also in some other things that the mass calls "Important Aspects of Life" in order to survive, but I will never abandon "My Own Important Aspects of Life"! I give them more worth than their own ones! There is a bigger worth in YourThings than in the MassThings! The things that are coming from MyOwnRealSelf will be the last that will ever die until I leave this world!!! Amen ;) Damn big, ehh? Bring me a wall to hit my head! :P I had to finish that Damn lifeless bunch of 35 kbytes ;) Heh! Uhh.. I hope you have read it all till the end. I sometimes regret that I may have killed this beautiful piece of my thoughts by writing such a big thing that people may be bored to read, but anyway.. that's life! May the Beauty be with you! :) |