How to get away with cutting classes

Written by DoC

Last fall we had obligatory English classes to be taken at the main campus area, which is about 6 km away where I live and study. I had been partying (of course) the last night and just could not get myself to wake up at 8 am. We had to be 80 per cent of the classes present, and that sorry day got me just over the limit. Well, I wrote and sent this apology to the teacher to get away from extra make up work. As it is pretty funny (at least I think so) and could help other people too with just some minor editing to fit their needs I decided to share it with the rest of the world. Though for the sake of sincerity, I have to admit that I really had to do some extra work, but a little softer teacher just might let it be after reading this beauty. Here it goes.

In modern society individuals of bright mind and cunning wit are treated poorly, sometimes even punished. Take for example a student with an insight to motion - and travel. As he wakes up to the annoying sound of his alarm clock he starts pondering about the various ways to move himself to the university.

It is a cold Tuesday morning - and it is snowing - so he rules walking out of the options. Since it is a 6 kilometre journey to the campus area he has never walked there before and is pretty damn sure of not taking on to the habit now.

The next form of travel to be rejected is communal traffic. Bus. The student in question is a hard worker, and as hard work needs some hard compensation he has been spending time - and money - in pubs in order to forget all the hard work he has done (and mainly succeeding in this task). That is why the 11 marks it takes to go by bus to the university are a rather big nick to his current budget.

Now that all the plausible methods of travel have been considered and found bad our ingenious student starts to form new means to travel. Just as he is on the brink of inventing a revolutionary, cost-effective way to transport people from one place to another in a blink of an eye he falls asleep. As the student wakes up three hours later not only does he find himself despising such an archaic method of travel as automobile but he also knows that he has to pay for his efforts to better our standard of living.

That is why I am approaching you about extra work. It seems I have been absent one time too much. What should I do?

Yours Sincerely,
<add your name here>

PS. May thine machinations be not of the wickest kind, for I am a mere mortal.

- DoC/FobiaDesign^DualCrewShining