Gundam 42 the secret apostle
Nine tries and only one. "Giveth me your honour, and I will grant you eternal voracity."
This sounded good, so he agreed. "Oh Lord, you have my deepest honour. Take of me what you will and I will giveth; my God, my everlasting lightbulb."
The clouds did shake and Gundam 42 found himselfeth amid a forest, surrounded by beautiful women, gold and a banquet fit for a kingdom.
"Resist all temptations and thou shalt haveth thine word cast inexorably among the saints," harked the voice from above.
Gundam 42 descended to his knees. "Thou haveth my soul, my will and my honour."
At that the heavens settled. Gundam 42 tooketh a seat at the table and started to suckle upon some chicken. It was scrumptious, as was the beef, the wild fruit and the beer. He quaffed and gobbled until he could manage no more.
Suddenly the heavens crackled and the Lord's anger boomed, "Gundam 42, thou betrayeth me! I commanded thou to resist temptations, and thou hath gorged thyself with meat and fruit, thou hath consumed intoxicants."
Gundam looked up into the clouds. "Uh? I thought I could have some."
"Sorry. I failed to understand that the delights before my eyes were not for my belly," he responded, packing his pockets with gold.
"Thou imbecile! I ordered thou to resist temptations! That includes gold!"
"Oh, right. I didn't understand that either," he muttered, emptying his pockets. "But I get to have sex, right?"
"No! You fool. Am I not makething myself clear? I did place you here amongst temptations so that you could prove thineself has the strength to resist."
"Oh, I get it now. I thought this was my reward."
"Reward? What deed deserves a reward?"
"Well, I gave you my honour."
"Yeah, well, you didn't prove yourself to me," the voice proclaimed.
"What did I have to prove?"
"That you can resist temptations."
"Because you have to, if you want to be a saint."
"Do saints get gold, food and sex?"
"No, but they haveth honour."
"I gaveth you my honour, so I haveth nothing to lose."
"Thou can haveth it back when thou enters heaven."
"No thanks, I'd rather have all this."
From that day, the legend of Gundam 42 was concealed beneath lies and deceptions, never to be told again... until now!