About girls

Tomcat/Greenroom

Let's be straight: this article is for nerds. Not that I would have anything against computer freaks, I have many true nerds as friends. Many of them have serious problems in dealing with girls, and many of them have never had a girlfriend, and they think they'll never have one. But like every man, they all dream of beautiful and cute girlies, as seen in GIFs, while having no idea how to find them. If you think you're not that type and you don't need my advice, simply don't read this article. For the rest let me help you a bit.

First of all, you will barely find a girlfriend by sitting at the machine all the day. Well, in fact there are net chatrooms where you can find some, but those are mostly ugly sluts, or worse, they are guys, fooling you. I have never heard of anyone getting a girlfriend on the IRC or a chatroom.

If you're a nerd, don't expect any girl from your close environment to fall in love with you. Your female classmates probably hate you, or think you're impotent or gay. Don't even try them, and I also don't recommend other girls from school. School is out of bounds for our real lives anyway, some years later you'll see that your schoolmates were mostly morons and losers.

You should find girls somewhere else, perhaps at a party. Yes, it can even be a demoparty, I currently have my second girlfriend whom I first met at a demoparty. But a normal party is much more useful. Say, you don't know when and where parties are held? Don't say you don't have friends who are not nerds, at least you should have some on the IRC or so. Meet them, hang around with them (forget computers for a while), get a life together, and soon you'll find yourself in a friendship community, and soon you will be invited to a party. Such communities always attract girls, if it's not only about computers. Even you can start a party, but don't forget to invite fifty-five girls and five boys to have ten girls and forty boys. :)

Well, OK, you now know some girls, and you're at a party. It's not a cool idea to hook yourself to a girl, and keep bothering her with your blabbing, and it's definitely not the way to immediately ask for her phone number. Just let the party run, do something that makes fun. Don't sit in a corner! Team up with your friends and do something. It doesn't matter what, as long as it's funny and people are trying to join. Start cooking pancakes, sit down and tell funny stories, whatever. Soon some girls will also join. If a friendly bunch is getting too big, usually if it has more that four members, it will soon break up to talking couples or trios. Start talking to one of the girls as if it were just happening that she's standing closest to you. You can tell funny stories, just think about the ones you've read in diskmagazines, put your or your friends' names in them, and don't care about the copyright - she's not likely to have read Hugi.

See, you're now talking with a girl and having fun. Does talking to a female block your tongue? C'mon, you're a MAN, you've got something she wants, and, besides, you must show strength - not necessarily muscles, but strength in spirit, you should show that you're different from everyday morons, as you are for sure. Don't be scared that she will find you ugly, because she won't. This is already sex: males get excited from the view of females, but females care far less about their partners' bodily appearance. Of course they care about your clothing, so don't wear your worst rags. What can excite a female is first gentleness from a male, and the feeling of him being able to protect her. This is a basic instinct in women, they will not analyze your body like a robot, since this protection thing is not about muscles at all, they will just feel if you're right. So build an image about yourself which is not too far from the truth but sounds interesting.

Now, let's say she's a party girl. This one is considered a slut by most people, the one you can fuck at a party and the next time someone else will. Then from here you only need to take her for a dance, and skip the next part.

If she's not a party girl, have a nice conversation with her. Perhaps she has a boyfriend, perhaps not, but don't give up if she has one. Many girls are just about to leave the prick they currently hang around with, but they will all say they have a boyfriend. In fact this is another female instinct, it's just to slow you down on your way to her. If you don't give up at this point, and keep moving on, the girl will perhaps respect it, and will soon consider leaving her current boyfriend for you, the more interesting person.

But currently you're just talking, and there is nothing about getting together - yet. Talk to her about arts, movies, whatever, find out what she prefers. Let's say she likes movies. Well, it's just a simple thing - swap phone numbers at the end of the party, and call her some days later to invite her to a cinema. One thing to note is that porno cinemas are not too OK for this purpose. If she has a boyfriend, and she's faithful, she will deny the invitation, and this is the point for you to stop. Mission failed, soldier, but there are almost three billion more other women on this planet... But let's say she agrees. Now, this is where something can start. Meet her, go to the cinema, of course it's recommended that you pay both tickets, since you're the man. After the movie invite her for a walk, have a coffee at some place, or maybe even go dancing - if she likes that and you aren't dancing like a wounded elephant. Of course you're expected to escort her home, if you have money, a taxi can make good use.

Girls are usually just as scared as you are. When arriving at her place, she'll probably be worried about what should happen now. She will not show it, but it's a sign if she just stands at her gate with you for some seconds, likely not finding the appropriate words for the evening, and then she just says: "Well, thank you for everything... err... bye!" Then just go ahead and ask for your little kiss on the cheek. You will surely get it. More experienced girls will automatically give it to you.

From this moment she'll also aspire to meeting you. Next time invite her to some event held with friends, for example a pancake cooking, some guy's birthday, etc. Believe me, if you're a man and have the necessary hormones, you will know when it's time to kiss her for the first time.

And voilą, you have your first girlfriend. Congratulations.

But be careful! In fact picking up a chick is much easier than keeping her. During the next weeks learn about her habits, strong points, try finding out what she likes and what not. Most girls don't like computers and other machinery (cars, airplanes, weaponry, etc.), so avoid these. Sometimes buy her small presents: a piece of flowers can always work. To strengthen your position, you can talk with her about psychological problems: girls usually like to state that they're soooo depressed because of something. In most cases that's ridiculous, but just listen to her, sometimes say something like "I see", "Oh that's bad", "Well..." etc., and she will think you really listen. It's not like lying, if she doesn't have a real problem, it will help her, but if you really try to solve her nonexistent problems, she will tell you more and more details she has in mind, and finally you'll find yourself in a labyrinth.

Someday you will reach the point when you both want to go to bed with each other. Note that sex is not a disgusting activity, not even for the woman; if she kissed you, she wants you, and if she wants you, having sex with you is not disgusting for her at all. The question is, when to do that? It's a good idea to get her menstruation calendar somehow. Most girls don't like fucking when they have it, but in fact it's possible even then, and since their clitoris is more sensitive during their days, they will enjoy it much more. Of course it doesn't apply if she has pains during menstruation. But let's not start with this - find out when she doesn't have it. Try getting her close to a bed just some days after it's over. Just start with what you've already done: kissing and embracing each other. She will enjoy it, and will perhaps immediately know what will happen. But it may happen that she's a virgin, or she is petrified of sex. She's not necessarily frigid, but she's a bit afraid. If she tries to stop you after a point, just ask her what's wrong.

In fact many old bitches - aunts, grandmas, etc. - have the habit of telling young girls that the first event is very painful. Yes, it is painful, if the asshole just jumps on the girl and stuffs it in. This should have happened to the old bitch, and since she's also just a loser as the one who fucked her, she thinks it's normal to have striking pain and see splattering blood when losing virginity. Well, it's not. Let me tell a story about such stupid bitches which is not connected to the subject, but I just have it in mind. A letter was published once in a Hungarian female magazine. A woman, stating she has a diploma, wrote that she'd been married for five years, but she still didn't have children, and, besides, sex always caused her great pain in her anus, isn't there a way to get her asshole more slippery? Har har. Nah, back to the subject.

So if she's fearing pain, just tell her that it's bullshit, but don't apply force if she just doesn't want it. It is not necessary to really have a coitus for the first night. But you can be together, feeling each other, and I think this is the greatest bodily feature. For the second or the third night she'll surely be thinking it over, and will let you really do some great fucking.

I guess you don't need to be told what parts a girl has. Start kissing her face and neck, these have many sensitive areas. Once try gently passing over your finger on your neck and face. You will feel where they're more sensitive. The girl has the same areas. You can even play with her ears with your tongue, or by gently biting them. But as I said, there are male instincts, and these will once again help you find the way.

If you're good at the game, try removing her upper clothes. She will let you do that, but don't simply pull her blouse off, first slip your hands under it, and touch her hot skin, her back, her side, the side of the breasts even. You will see what she wants, her body will guide you. Slowly remove the clothes, and keep her stimulating. Meanwhile put her on the bed, and lie her down. If the breasts are free, go to them. Try kissing them, licking them with your tongue, but don't let your tongue be hard at first. And don't poke the tits with your fingertips, they are very sensitive now. If you feel that they're getting harder, it is a proof that she enjoys it. In fact most women like it when a man holds their tits in his hands. This gives them a feeling of safety. To women, the breast is as important as the ball to us men. They get a bit more relaxed if the man they love and trust takes care of them.

Another erogenous zone is the area of the belly. Gentle kisses can work, but some girls are ticklish there. The butt is also very sensitive, and is a rarely touched intimate zone, so touching or stroking it can really excite her. You can even try kissing it - not the anus for the first time, but no point of the body is restricted to be touched.

The inner side of the thighs is usually the point where it comes to light whether she really wants it now or needs a bit more besieging. Try gently stroking her legs from the knees to upwards. When you reach the thighs, she will either quickly close her legs or open them. In the first case try convincing her that you will do no harm, and no one will punish her if she acts like a woman and asks for what she desires. At this point she will probably not need too much talking.

So here is it: the female organ (also known as pussy, for the less educated). The pussy is a delicate equipment, and requires very gentle handling. It has two main parts; the clitoris is in the upper part. It may not be visible at the moment, it's unique for every woman, as in sensitivity as in size. But just as for cocks, size doesn't matter. Have you seen porno movies? I guess you have. Well, believe me, the guy in the movie was actually licking that. You can do it too. In fact oral sex is the most gentle action one can do for his or her partner. Don't be afraid, it's neither dirty nor stinky (or if it is, you have a very low quality bitch). And since every healthy woman did masturbation at least once in her life, clitoral orgasm is a known thing to her, she will most probably allow you to lick. You can push one finger in her hole during the act and move it inside, or even two. Orally satisfying the girl has two obvious advantages. First, it will be easier for you to satisfy her during the coitus later. Most women have a much harder time getting to orgasm than a man does, so you will likely be done earlier than she would like to. Second, if she doesn't really want to suck you, but you'd like it, you can convince her to at least try it, since you also did it for her.

Ah yes, sucking. A friend of mine always said that every woman was going to suck one day, but to be honest, it is not sure that you'll still live on that day. Some girls just don't suck at all. Some do. There are many ways of doing that, I won't write them down here, if you're interested in how to do that, visit some gay site. Well, if your girlfriend is able to suck you, you can consider yourself lucky, if she even enjoys it, then you're fuckin' lucky, and if she even swallows the jelly then you have the jackpot. Even some porno stars don't like to swallow.

So, when you got enough of petting and oral games, you can try the coitus. If your partner is a virgin, be sure that she's very wet before trying anything, and don't push it too quickly, but neither slowly. If you do it right, she will not feel anything bad, and will even have an orgasm. Some blood may spill however, that's normal.

Well, this was my tutorial for nerds, hope it helps at least some poor freaks who have to live their lives without cunt support. And note my words: there is no thing like predestination! You're not the one destined to play the computer all your life. All you need is to turn that machine off sometimes.

tomcat^grm