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At this exact moment it's 1.10 am and I'm listening to music, quite a normal thing, but it doesn't matter. People looking at me may only see a guy typing on a keyboard in front of a shining monitor that lights a bit on my room while darkness rules in the rest of the house, not caring about the music, my radio is always on. But they don't know that at this exact moment the music of David Benoit is stealing pieces of my soul, that what they may see of me is just the outer part, they can't guess the feeble thoughts, the whirling feelings that come and go after a single note. It is always different how you can feel a song, every moment is different from another, when the music is done to trasmit something, you can't feel it always the same, as you are not the same.
So for the scene.
Let's assume that the previous words were about the scene, follow me:
At this exact moment it's 1.10 am and I'm listening to the words of my friends on IRC, but it doesn't matter. People I am talking to may only imagine a guy sitting in front of his computer. But they don't know that in this exact moment I am not only talking with them. Casually I am meeting a friend I met only one time at a party, just one time, and that's enough to be friends. I don't even know his real name, I know his handle, his group, his productions, his skills, his reputation in the scene, but I don't know his name. What a combination, just a few seconds before I was looking at the last demo of his group. It is always different how you can feel it, I was speaking to a lot of so called friends, but at this very moment I met the other friend my mind came back to the party, at the moment when I was looking at the demo compo. Feeble thoughts reminded me of flashes of the party. How many people were there? Not many, it was a little party, but enough to enjoy. And nobody at this moment can imagine where my mind goes. To the football compo? To the moment when we stole the microphone and reminded the visitors that the organizers were lame? Never mind.
But the real sense of my words is another. What I want to say is that as nobody can enter the mind of someone listening to music, so nobody can imagine the nature of a scener when he can let it explode. No one can imagine why the hell that coder is coding in front of your eyes that strange and bad looking palette, why a very good graphician is pixelling that horrible thing? Don't care about it. At the end you see their work. Wow, the palette wasn't so bad, the effect looks innovative with those colors. And the pic you thought was simply shit now fits the atmosphere perfectly, you could never imagine that. But if we enlarge the view of our camera to go out of the partyplace, we find the external nature of the sceners. You can't guess that the mad man you have in front of you while he's getting crazy normally is a good university student who in the eyes of the world will be an example of regularity and many other good things. But the world doesn't know that the scene finds out the inner core of someone and lets anyone see it. The scene reveals the secrets of the brains of the sceners. But for a casual joke of destiny, only the sceners can understand this, the external world can only see people who spend time with stupid computers. Is he a great coder? Sure, everyone saw his great work, but this is what the sceners can say. Well, the others think he has just wasted time doing senseless things. So the point is: who cares? I don't. If I get mad in the scene I can be back to my "other" normal life in a while, and kiss goodbye to the comments. My parents say I'm not normal if I go 1600km to get to a party just to be back after 3 days. Who cares? I jump on a train, after a week everyone will forget everything. Just I will not forget it, together with the people I spent these days with. A friend of mine says that I'm awfully out of my mind if I refuse to do something because, for example, I have to code in time for tomorrow's deadline. He can't understand, so again I don't care. In a few days he will forget, I can do that thing days later. I can give a little example of this. I was at well known coder's home (sorry, no name), his girlfriend was there. We were watching some intros that had just been released for the first time. His girlfriend was just all over him, trying to kiss him. He told her to stay away, he was watching the intros. He didn't care, it was intro time, not kissing time. She got quite angry, didn't say a word more to our coder. After 10 minutes we had finished watching at the intros, he moved, and gave her a kiss. She immediately forgot to be angry and smiled for the rest of the day... This is the point: why should anyone care about his actions if these will be forgot soon? This is true eliteness, do what you want and send a friendly fuck off to the rest of the world if the world has words to say. Same in the scene, live and be cool, if the scene has words to tell about you, you are discussed, don't care. They will forget you, and if they don't, you can say you hit your mark and you are near to be elite.