Rud3 b0y Verses

The Ob-sc3n3 poet

Poor Rick.
There was once a man called Rick,
who had such a tiny dick.
So he pulled it all night,
till he lost all his sight,
Now walks around with a stick.

Silly-cone Implants.
There was once a girl called Kate,
whose breasts could self inflate.
She was never alone,
from boy with the bone.
until a puncture made her deflate.

Big Chopper.
There was once a man called John,
who had sex with his trousers on.
but he finished too quick,
and got caught in his zip.
now his prize penis has gone.

There was once a man called Joe,
who was in desperate need of a blow.
So he bought a fish,
to forfill his wish.
but a piranha made his blood flow.

Fast food.
There was once a man called Jake,
whose body looked like a rake.
So he ate a huge whale,
but looked rather pale.
When he reached the toilet, too late!

ill-eet surfer.
There was once a hacker called snort,
and with a new PC he'd just bought.
He decided to hack,
see sick porn and depack,
Till by the police he was caught.

Nursery Crimes.
Jack once met a girl called Jill,
who explained that she's on the Pill.
But along came fate,
when she said "I am late."
So he threw himself down the hill.

There was once a man called Pete,
who had two enormous feet.
The girls they all giggled,
and with him they all wiggled.
Now he can't stand up for a week!

Hairy women.
There was once a girl called Julie,
who loved every dick so truly.
She sucked and she squeezed,
and many men has she pleased.
Until they found she's a girl, only Newly.

There was once a loser called Keith,
whose face was filled with 3 teeth.
He stole and smoked dope,
until in prison dropped the soap.
Now he's very popular all week.

Goodnight sleep.
There once was a girl called Mona,
who liked S & M all alone-a.
Used a whip in her grove,
till both nipples explode.
then beats herself to a coma.

Picking your nose.
There was a boy called Tony,
Whose body was weak and bony.
Whenever he'd sneeze
He would cover his knee.
With slimy green macoroni.

Saddle sore.
There once was a freak called Mike,
who could only come on his bike.
Then one day met a Greek,
who stole his seat.
and cured this freak with the spike.

Goodie, Goodie Jane.
There once was a girl called Jane,
whose face wasn't ugly or plain.
But everyday sold her body,
To the famous Bill Oddie.
And thats why she snorts cocaine.

Kinky keyring.
There was once an editor called Adok,
who liked S & M with a pad-lock,
Till in came his mother,
his sister and brother.
Now he's chained up outside in a paddock.