Written by Makke
Hi! Makke here. This time I'm going to write a little report from a scene I'm really not that much active in, but I've been struck with deeds and confronted by people who are quite active in this scene. The scene I'm talking about is of course the idiot scene.
This scene consists mainly of idiots (thus the name), but also of morons, shit-heads and slightly retarded people. Apart from the nuclear-war-scene this is the silliest scene of them all. The idiot-scene has as a main-goal to annoy and make life hell for the demo-sceners. How do they do this? By constantly e-mailing the demo-sceners declaring to the scener how much he/she sucks. Here's an example I just got in my mail-box:
"You're a bitch. Your chiptune article is the biggest shit I ever heard. Track music is super the shit. I want to shit on ya and your mathafucking corporation. Pleas sent me a messitch to email@example.com!"
Oh, my. I feel flattered. That is really constructive criticism. Let's analyze it (explanation to the people in the idiot-scene: "Let's chop it up into small pieces and try to figure what they really mean").
"You're a bitch."
The person who wrote this probably doesn't like me very much. "You" refers to me. "'re a bitch" tells me that I am a bitch. Ok. A bitch. I have QUITE good grades in English though it isn't my native language. Bitch can mean a lot of things. Here are the things I could remember that it means:
#1. Female-dog, -fox or -wolf.
#2. A really annoying woman.
#4. Hard situation
As I'm not a female-dog, -fox or -wolf (in fact I'm not female at all so we can probably put a cross over "annoying woman" as well) this can't be the meaning of it.
A complaint. Yes, I do complain about somethings, but does that make ME a complaint? Geez, I don't think so. Can anybody become a complaint?
A hard situation. I'm a bitch. I'm a hard situation. I once made a song called "No no no no" and I think the title of it fits quite good here.
"Your chiptune article is the biggest shit I ever heard."
"Your" refers to me, "is the biggest shit" refers to the article I wrote, and means that the person who wrote those lines doesn't like it very much. "I ever heard" means that the person writing thinks that the things I wrote in my "chiptune article" are the biggest lie, irrelevant information or silliest thing the writer of the e-mail ever heard. Music, politics, literature, lyric, poetry, every day conversation etc. included.
Wow! My article must really stink. Is that really so? I guess you're quite green in the issue called politics. There you have the biggest shit I have ever heard. And my article being shit? I've actually got a few e-mails telling me how good people thought it was. Oh, my. Now I'm confused.
"Track music is super the shit."
This sentence includes some really bad English. I cannot analyze it. "I CAN'T WORK WITH THESE RAW MATERIALS!" as I sometimes scream when I'm jerking off.
"I want to shit on ya and your mathafucking corporation."
"I" refers to the e-mail writer. "want to shit on ya" declares that the e-mail writer wants to remove his excrements from his rectum upon me (ya is slang for you). Uhm... rather perverted, won't you say? "and your mathafucking corporation" means that the e-mail writer wants to, after "excrementing" me, release yet another load of dung upon my "mathafacking" corporation.
First of all which "corporation"? Do you mean Hugi? Hugi isn't MY corporation, if Hugi can be called a corporation at all. I guess you'll have to leave your excrements at Adok's place, then he'll figure what to do with them.
Another interesting word is in there too. "Mathafucking". What on earth could this be? My instincts tell me that it could be "mother fucking". But it can't be this as it referred to my corporation. If I HAD a corporation I would be the FATHER of that corporation. So the corporation wouldn't have a mother, and can thus not be "mother" fucking. "Father fucking" perhaps, but then again, a corporation cannot fuck very well.
"Pleas sent me a messitch to firstname.lastname@example.org!"
Some guy named "Pleas" (or should that be please?) sent the e-mail writer a "messitch" to his e-mail address. What is "messitch"? My word processor wants to correct it as "misstate". Why would the e-mail writer want to tell me that Pleas sent him/her a misstate? Especially after telling me how worthless I am?
The idiot-scene has nothing to offer me. If you want to tell me I, my opinions or my articles suck ass go ahead, but please do it in a reply article, and not in a well written e-mail like this. From now on I'm gladly going to ignore all e-mails that consist of these kinds of statements.