My Very Personal Inactivity
Written by Makke
Wow, I haven't been this 'inactive' in the scene since I started out! I can't do a single thing, and what started out like an ordinary lack of ideas, later developed into frustration that might just be on the verge to a depression. But what can one do except sitting here and waiting for the creativity to come back? It can't be forced out. It has to come out by itself, and there's no good rushing. Somehow I'm starting to feel irresponsible for what I do, or rather for what I don't do. I'm one of those who desperately feel that if you don't create (may it be writing, composing, drawing, coding) anything, you're inactive. And this is not a healthy philosophy, it tears your mind apart! You can feel how you slowly go insane, and how the skin on your neck crawls up 'n down 'cuz you don't want to watch TV, you want to create! Yet you can't. You're dry of ideas, totally empty of creative thoughts and all the holes in your soul this creates are filled up by sorrow.
The only thing that really helps is to feel sorry for yourself and waste other people's time by writing how happy you would be if you just got your creativity back. Because really. How interesting is this? And why the hell do I keep typing, knowing that no one is going to care? You'll just be mad at me for typing such horrible crap. Well, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO! This is the last thing I could think of. I'm that low on the creativity level that I have to write about not being able to write anything.
I could spend all day lying in my bed, trying to figure what my feet actually smell like. But when I've figured that out I'm totally drained of ideas.
Oh, god! From here it can only become better.